Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
