Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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