You're so nebulous sometimes
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
