mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I love black thongs
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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