I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Randomize
