I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
