imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
