Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
