hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
