i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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