It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
