Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Naked. naked and bneed help.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
