A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the day after is always just damage control
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
