I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
