I got chris browned last night
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i out mim tonsoeep
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