So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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