Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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