remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
