What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
