I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
