Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
