In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You can't motorboat a personality
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
