Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
