So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
