I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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