Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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