Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
