and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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