Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
