There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
At least life still wants to fuck me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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