The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize