Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Text me some of your sweat
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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