If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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