The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
