Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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