In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
