You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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