oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
