flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
