Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Randomize
