You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
