that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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