At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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