I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
