spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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