i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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