just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
