He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
