I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
