Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
