Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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