i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
