Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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