he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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