Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
