"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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