yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
