Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
My balls are so social today.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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