More tranny stories later!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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