i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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