i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I will pee on everything he values.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Enjoy the penises
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
