I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
