How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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