Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
