If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Someone shit on the floor
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
