She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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