So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
