Buhtt sex?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I supernannyed him into submission
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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