If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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