I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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