Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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