He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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