The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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